so you called me today, you call me allot lately..and sometimes more than once a day..
and one of the 1st things you told me was your having to pay child support..40.00 but still. for somneone who isnt making that money thats allot to have to pay ALONG WITH thr 40 you also have to pay to pay that restitution down.
so we talked, and i kept tryiung to reinforce the fact that you SHOULNDT HAVE to pay child support if you sign your rights over and hes adopted.
but you went on to tell me that there in NC the parents of a child who has been adopted out is still required to pay..which i found hard to believe, and i decided to look inline, since most of my life is in front of my PC anyway...i looked up , well googled, is more accurate, NC ADOPTION CHILD SUPPORT
and natually found everything but what i was seeking, except..something about ADOPTION ASSTANCE PAYMENTS..
when if i ook at just the words it makes me think thats what your talking about, which i dont believe is the same as a child support while your no longer legally, not obligated by law to pay the child anything.
not allot out there on this, but i did find this.
i tried my hardest to convince you, without seeming too pushy, im sure to you it was a hard oush, and im sure what i said hurt.
but if your not going to persue him, to get custody of him, i dodnt see the need to keep him in foster care, let them adopt him, why keep him in limbo and unsettled? it just doesnt make sense to me.
it feels like a way for you to delay, or stall, way in adance, the opportunity to come here..
which i also tapped a bit on and made sure you understood, i wasnt going to wate my time and money to come there to hear you tell me on the last day, that you had a court date scheduled for a month later.
so i made sure you understood, you had to make up your mind on this matter.
if you intended to try for custody of mikey, then you needed to clear that up, do what you needed to do and get it doen, how ever long that was gonna take.
but if you wernt, then the option is to adopt him out, ask for an open one. and allow for that to pass and be done with..
but to me, because i know you..it felt like a way to stall, and then say your having to deal with this and that and the other too...
its a fine mess, that what i can say..
mark, mikeys bio dad isnt even in the picture, and they cant find him to ask him if hed be ok with anything, so that makes it harder.
you married to tommy, who by most legla standards is legally, even if not biologically, mikeys dad...(in most states) until the divorce, which your ALSO trying to get and take care of as well..
and now, on top of everything, if you do not oay that 40.00 a month for mikey, youll have to go to jail/prison, and wed hope it wasnt during this probationary period, because that would cause you to have to serve the rest of the time in..prison.
8 months, sandy...most of this needs to be situated and taken care of and dealt with in 8 months, or between now and then, preferable as soon as possible, youd tell me its gonna be longer. so i can move on with MY life..
in the end of it all it really does come down to what is the best..the BEST for..mikey..
not for you, not for me, not for anyone else, but what is best for him?
if your forced to pay child support, they will gauge that on your income, so are you going to live beneath your means for the rest of your life until mikey hits 18? to avoid having to pay child support? you wont be able to if you live anywhere that that social security card can be traced..
if you give him up..will you STILL have to pay child support? i doubt it, seriously.
you know you wont have to pay if you keep him, but thats gonna take allot to do, and im not sure your the best one to handle him... he wasnt thriving like he should have been with you, if they noticed with the foster family, he was doing better.
choices, choices, options, and life...which road to take? what to do?
everything has to be considered..all of it, every single angle to this entire issue..has to be examined by yourself, and decided upon.
because YOU have to be ok with the results..ALL OF THEM!
i love you...i always will...thats never gonna change...
but make the right choice, for mikey.
pray about it, and then wait, for an answer...
and then do what God says to do, even if it hurts you...He knows whats best.
and one of the 1st things you told me was your having to pay child support..40.00 but still. for somneone who isnt making that money thats allot to have to pay ALONG WITH thr 40 you also have to pay to pay that restitution down.
so we talked, and i kept tryiung to reinforce the fact that you SHOULNDT HAVE to pay child support if you sign your rights over and hes adopted.
but you went on to tell me that there in NC the parents of a child who has been adopted out is still required to pay..which i found hard to believe, and i decided to look inline, since most of my life is in front of my PC anyway...i looked up , well googled, is more accurate, NC ADOPTION CHILD SUPPORT
and natually found everything but what i was seeking, except..something about ADOPTION ASSTANCE PAYMENTS..
when if i ook at just the words it makes me think thats what your talking about, which i dont believe is the same as a child support while your no longer legally, not obligated by law to pay the child anything.
not allot out there on this, but i did find this.
adoption assistance programs are designed to help parents meet their adopted children’s varied, and often costly, needs. Children can qualify for federal adoption assistance or state assistance, depending on the child’s history. Adoption subsidy policies and practices are, for the most part, dependent on the state in which the child was in foster care before the adoption.which doesnt explain why youd have to pay child support IF you decided to give mikey up.
i tried my hardest to convince you, without seeming too pushy, im sure to you it was a hard oush, and im sure what i said hurt.
but if your not going to persue him, to get custody of him, i dodnt see the need to keep him in foster care, let them adopt him, why keep him in limbo and unsettled? it just doesnt make sense to me.
it feels like a way for you to delay, or stall, way in adance, the opportunity to come here..
which i also tapped a bit on and made sure you understood, i wasnt going to wate my time and money to come there to hear you tell me on the last day, that you had a court date scheduled for a month later.
so i made sure you understood, you had to make up your mind on this matter.
if you intended to try for custody of mikey, then you needed to clear that up, do what you needed to do and get it doen, how ever long that was gonna take.
but if you wernt, then the option is to adopt him out, ask for an open one. and allow for that to pass and be done with..
but to me, because i know you..it felt like a way to stall, and then say your having to deal with this and that and the other too...
its a fine mess, that what i can say..
mark, mikeys bio dad isnt even in the picture, and they cant find him to ask him if hed be ok with anything, so that makes it harder.
you married to tommy, who by most legla standards is legally, even if not biologically, mikeys dad...(in most states) until the divorce, which your ALSO trying to get and take care of as well..
and now, on top of everything, if you do not oay that 40.00 a month for mikey, youll have to go to jail/prison, and wed hope it wasnt during this probationary period, because that would cause you to have to serve the rest of the time in..prison.
8 months, sandy...most of this needs to be situated and taken care of and dealt with in 8 months, or between now and then, preferable as soon as possible, youd tell me its gonna be longer. so i can move on with MY life..
in the end of it all it really does come down to what is the best..the BEST for..mikey..
not for you, not for me, not for anyone else, but what is best for him?
if your forced to pay child support, they will gauge that on your income, so are you going to live beneath your means for the rest of your life until mikey hits 18? to avoid having to pay child support? you wont be able to if you live anywhere that that social security card can be traced..
if you give him up..will you STILL have to pay child support? i doubt it, seriously.
you know you wont have to pay if you keep him, but thats gonna take allot to do, and im not sure your the best one to handle him... he wasnt thriving like he should have been with you, if they noticed with the foster family, he was doing better.
choices, choices, options, and life...which road to take? what to do?
everything has to be considered..all of it, every single angle to this entire issue..has to be examined by yourself, and decided upon.
because YOU have to be ok with the results..ALL OF THEM!
i love you...i always will...thats never gonna change...
but make the right choice, for mikey.
pray about it, and then wait, for an answer...
and then do what God says to do, even if it hurts you...He knows whats best.
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